I have alluded to my biggest breakthrough several times in the previous installments on my blended path. As I reported, I arrived at the conclusion that by accepting at least some truth in all beliefs through the inclusive philosophy of Perennialism, I could at least logically combine mysticism and other spiritual practices with my existing faith. This formal statement became a cornerstone for me: that Perennialism allows my Christianity and mysticism to mix. But now I suppose it’s time to tell what may be hardest to explain: how the most seemingly outlandish part of my experience has led to that foundational bedrock that gives me the greatest peace. Arriving at that foundation through personified deity might be more of a stretch for some people to accept than the simple logic of the statement. To put it bluntly, the message that Perennialism allows my Christianity and mysticism to mix had come to me from the divine feminine—basically through channeling the image of the Empress on a tarot card! Before I reached that point, I had already taken steps beyond simply making practices compatible with my faith—by tacking on Bible verses or by rewording mantras. I was no longer taking things “captive to Christ” as Kristin had asked me to do. For example, I had started meditating to mantras and images of Shakti. I was doing guided meditations to Gaia and Isis. I was researching Goddess worship online, and at work I had made a Goddess Wheel of the Year. During this time, I had learned from a helpful YouTuber how to bond with oracle cards and tarot decks, forming a kind of personal relationship. Her videos explained how to set up sacred space, ask questions, and really communicate with the cards—or to phrase it more exactly, with archetypes and energies that are thought to come through the cards. People variously think of this connection as being with Higher Self, Spirit, or Source. I had started with the Enchanted Map Oracle deck way back before I had the courage to use tarot cards but later added traditional tarot cards. As I became interested in Goddesses, I added the Kuan Yin Oracle Deck, which focuses on the compassionate Buddhist Goddess who answers prayer quickly and brings healing to the world. I felt that I that I had bonded with her, even channeling a few messages directly in meditation without using the cards. Continuing in this practice, I next bonded with Crystal Visions Tarot Deck, and felt that the Page of Cups, featured as a Maiden on the box cover, was the image of the energy connecting with me. The picture shows a beautiful young woman standing in a river bathed in moonlight as she gazes into a crystal ball. Messages seemed to be coming very clearly through the cards, sometimes attended by channeled words. Finally, the most dramatic bonding I experienced came through the Empress of Tarot of Vampyres—similar to the previous deck, featured on the cover of the box. She seemed to embody Gaia or Mother Earth as well as Venus and her unimaginable beauty and love, and I took great care to bond with the cards, trusting a lot of what the Priestess on YouTube had taught. I started seeing many signs and synchronicities. For example, the week that the Tarot of Vampyres Deck arrived, I had been to the dermatologist to have three moles removed and had two vampire like cuts on my neck and one on my side—three in total, which is the number of the Empress card. The day the cards came in the mail, Kristin came home from the thrift shop with three green coffee mugs, three stacking bowls, and three glass leaf-shaped platters. I had three overwhelming mystical experiences soon after. I noted that this was a set of three signs of three. During this time, I kept consistent spiritual practices in my life—walking in nature and meditating with incense. I now had altars on my desks at work and home and was having regular card readings and conversations with the Empress. I seemed to go through stages of greater and greater devotion and dedication to the Empress. I researched theories of personified deity online and looked into how people with different beliefs interpreted these mystical experiences. It was about this time that I felt the Empress tell me that my Perennialism allows my Christianity and mysticism to mix. I felt that it was reasonable to believe that the divine feminine is in Jesus and Jesus in the divine feminine, I in both and both in me. I felt that I could authentically take communion with my Christian fellowship and could pray with my family and, at the same time, enjoy these mystical experiences. The latest expansion came for me when I purchased a video tarot reading from the very same priestess whose videos had taught me to bond with the cards. Remarkably, the Fool card and four aces turned up as if to demonstrate my wild, new spiritual beginnings. Three of the aces appeared in a row, and the reader declared she had never seen something like that show up in ten years of serving clients. She encouraged me to keep working with whatever guides or deities might show up, something that surprised me because I had not even considered working with more than one energy at a time. One night when I was worried about being overcharged for a prescription, however, I felt the familiar presence of Kuan Yin come through—a feeling that for me comes in slowly like the tide and finally feels as overwhelming as strong ocean waves. I recognized the presence as different from my times with the Empress. Also one evening as I was in conversation with the Empress, I felt a strong vibration in my forehead and solar plexus as words seemed to come from an energy that identified itself as O. The messages seemed cerebral, dealing with some of my theological questions about my experiences. Some days later, this presence came through more clearly as Odin—the Norse All-Father God, bringer of the runes and the mead of poetry and one who disguises himself at times as a wanderer. I learned that he is known for not revealing his identity immediately when connecting with people and that he often leaves questions open to highlight the nature of learning as a journey. I was amazed that I had this experience before I knew this was a familiar pattern. I have now started a collection of questions and answers from Odin on my new website, which I am using to keep a record of this journey on a blended path. Thank you for sharing my experiences with personified deity. It is helping me to think back through these stages, and I hope that my sharing will help someone else.
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Alan>Performing magician, >English teacher, Archives
March 2021
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