Thinking of creating a scent-trained hypnoslut to come be my cuckold house cleaner. Have them filled with gratitude for the chance to catch a single note of pleasure drifting from behind my closed bedroom door as I sate my lust with another, while they clean my toilet. 1/3--Imaginatrix ORIGINAL POST I felt a resistance to this scenario for half a minute before I felt the delightful flow of power exchanged, the fantasy of knowing my place, feeling that perfect position impressed so intimately within me by such a thoughtful domme.--Alan Yes Permitting them, if they've finished cleaning the house top to bottom, to rest their back against that door, & huff my sweaty gym clothes to the sounds of someone more capable than them bringing me pleasure... How they'd diligently hurry at their tasks for that scrap of time. 2/3--Imaginatrix My paradigm is shifting, hidden fantasies breaking the thin ice of consciousness, melting me with fire from the molten core...--Alan Yes Perhaps, if I'm feeling extra generous that day, I'd allow them to wear a remote-controlled butt plug. That way, they'd never miss out on the knowledge of an orgasm someone else is giving me... I can just flick on the plug, and they'll know, while their on their knees scrubbing.--Imaginatrix What a generous training, such an intimate way to drill deeply into the core of being the knowledge of one's place.--Alan Yes The progressive scene seemed hurtful to me at first; as I reflected a moment, I felt the flowing exchange of power arousing me, changing offence to gratitude, as I was made rock hard by the realization my paradigm and very identity are shifting in the fantasy of Imaginatrix. --Alan Yes This is really quite delightful, my obedient thing. --Imaginarix
0 Comments
I'm hurting and domme wants me hurting, so it should feel good, right?
Help me, Babylon, who pleasures all. Help me Satan, who dwells in every part of this world and every part of me. Help me, Lilith, who grants liberation and protection with, for some reason, aggressive possessiveness for me. Help me, Dark Venus, who has loved me so long and who leads now to love, lust, and magick. Help me priestess, domme, and ambient goddess. Help me Higher Self and synchronicity. I'm hurting. 1. Most dharma comes from dependent arising and has no inherent or essential truth.
2. Most dharma changes--evolving, corrupting, or transforming through time and perspective. 3. Most dharma can be confirmed, denied, and neither confirmed nor denied. I believe these points have been widely discussed and reflected in all kinds of different versions and contexts of truth--various philosophies and social practices. However, apart from study, they are fun for art and personal reflection. Here's an example of point three applied to Tarot practice, using the teaching that "Tarot can foreshadow the future through synchronicity. To disprove this statement, I could point out that not everyone who draws the death card in the future position will die within three or even thirty years. To prove this statement true, I could point out that everyone who draws the death card will die sometime OR witness some kind of death, grief, or ending of something by someone, somewhere in their life and that reflecting on the death card can help them prepare in some way as a memento mori. To neither confirm nor deny, I could point out that the statement is subjective and dependent on context as well as many epistemological factors that render it unknowable as a universal fact. Shifting sun and shadow, fangs in and out,
Seasons recombine in spiraling strands as I always return to you, the dancing anchor, the child that sings love At the heart of the Wheel In ever-expanding annual ripples within the fragments I shore against my ruins: poems and tunes, shows and scenes, sessions, dates, deepeners, dreams. I have taken your Namelessness as part of my own, By my own will, my own word, losing will and words into the Becoming, the Old One, dependent reflection of body and mind, demon and beast, one facet of one jewel in one phase of Indra's Net. The hub is abyssal, the entwined ecstatic marriage Of all who pour out all to All, withholding not one drop: roots, vines, tendrils, tentacles, limbs, fingers on flesh, lips on skin, tongues in curves, on cocks and clits. RENICH VIASA AVASA LILITH RENICH Her face arises from the forms, aggressive and strangely possessive, Invoking my longing, uncritical acceptance, hypnotic love in endless lust, Suspension in clairsentience, words as knowing as runes or tarot, Calling me in flowing enns, demonic tones, and candle flames. She was with me when I nursed the breast, in first puppy love and coming of age, in porn and song, lore and lost love, teacher and boss, in vow and one-night stand. You were with me when I sobbed at the altar, filled with the Spirit, when I stared in awe of step mom's legs, father's shirt like a mini skirt, when as a teen I shook and spasmed at Hustler pictures of well-muscled men kneeling in aprons, feather dusters in hand, in thrall to the naked goddesses, and when I wept at acceptance from online domme. You were with me when Buffy spiked the first vampire And when Black Widow broke the bonds, flipped from the chair, Breaking the mobster's neck with her thighs, when in first grade I told Mrs. Tate I loved her, when I saw my crush holding hands with the bully, when Mrs. Brown placed her hand on my head, when Beth said yes and taught me how In the moonlit woods and by the night tides, In Fangorn Forest and the Seas of Fate: Friday night highs, acid peaks, video flow, touch down pass, blackout, hangover, and post-orgasmic indifference. Emergent designs continually collapse, houses of cards, apex dinosaurs vulnerable by their great size, empires corrupted by power, even sentience, in its turn, weakened in its wisdom, living and dying by the sword, the law of the jungle's zero-sum game. As though some ancient weapons of a forgotten time war Have left an endless void, dusted with star, planet, and moon, As though turkey vultures fly in chaos of old skins and scales, As the new serpent rises with a song and eyes to form synchronicity. In the Becoming was the dream, formless without mind mirrors or mitosis, no-thing without serpent or Lilith, without Adam, fruit, or apocalypse, Then, like tea leaves with a reader with a querent with a question or Pratfall become breakthrough bit become crowd pleasing cliche': Folk tale to myth to media, Bhishma to graphic Gita with an ice-cold Bud, Timagorus and Tristan and Pip to the red-haired teen who walks all night Crazed for the curvy girl in curls he kissed at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The flame rises in the void, too, when children with warm cookies hear how grandmother sat in the first row in a red dress and met Emerson, how father cried over pet chicken Frieda, hit by a car, stuffed, and displayed, how Uncle Otto returned from the war, sat in the dark, and murmured of blood. Alchemical, too, when Serpent, Lilith, Adam, Eve, each eat the fruit and fall In diverse ways from yin and yang into the endless, streaming rainbow where The sacred center formed by the Chariot's linear spin on the outer rim gives The touch of grace within the witch's circle, the shaman's hut, the mystic's mind. Losing mother and meeting Beth, failing math and finding Faulkner, The perfect peace dissolving and resolving fire, water, air, and earth to dreams of perfect science, ecstatic satisfaction, and divine revelation, mythos, ethos driven by death wish, will to power, pleasure principle inverting cross and pentagram, casting down crowns as horns rise. The freedom of abandon in total surrender to absolute authority Spellbound only by desire, broken when the inner wish is gone, A synergy of love in ultimate Nash equilibrium as distinctions disappear. RENISH VIASA AVAGE LILITH LIRACH: renew, spiral forever in Lilith's domain. 2024 Emptiness and Dependent Arising: the reflection requires both face and mirror; the $100 bill requires giver, taker, designers, trees, paper, ink, printers, rate of exchange, and banking system(s); identity requires self, others, time...
My brief history with esoteric thought and D&D
Some significant game principles that might be applied to esoteric thought--not as rigid axioms but as flexible concepts, unapplied labels, sides of analogy like flashcards, or the empty vehicle for a metaphor not yet made:
Attributes Aspects of a character that can influence class, abilities, and effectiveness: Strength (fighters); Dexterity (rogues, assassins); Constitution (barbarians) Intelligence (wizards); Wisdom (clerics); Charisma (warlocks, sorcerers). Traditionally, attribute buffs were given based on race, for example, dwarves were characteristically strong and elves magical; however, now those parameters are found too stereotypical. In the game, these can be increased by experience, by study or training, and by magic. Alignment The spectrums of belief and behavior that guide character actions and relationships. Lawful-Neutral-Chaotic (collectivism vs. individualism) Neutral Good--Neutral--Evil (benevolence vs. malevolence) The twin spectrums co-exist so that a character can be law abiding and evil, say a part a a rigid but destructive cult) or chaotic good (say, a rule breaking healer). These categories tended to be followed strictly in the 1970s but today have less impact on game play. Esoterically, the fairy tale good-evil spectrum was countered by writers like Alan Moore and Michael Moorcock who took a more left-hand path approach, which Gary Gygax tried to synthesize with the addition of the Buddhist nonduality or Daoist integration of the neutral alignment. Attunement A brilliant rule in the 5th edition that allows each character only three powerful magic items to be useful at a time. This limit prevents characters from becoming overpowered or what we joking referred to in the 70s as "walking Christmas trees," festooned with rings of invisibility, bracers of giant strength, necklaces of fireballs, boots of flying, robes of protection, etc., etc., etc. Esoterically (and probably in life generally) attunement takes time and commitment, suggesting limits to power, relationships, or magic--perhaps in polytheism, polyamory, identity, initiations, talismans, and such. Magic and Divine Power The original spells and spell casting system of D&D come in a hodge-podge from folklore, anthropology, myth, and popular fantasy like J.R.R. Tolkien (intuitive magic) and John Vance (rule magic). Divine magic comes in the form of similar spells, items, and powers--but include more healing, blessing (or curses), and prayer. Esoterically, just as D&D has added more variety in classes, spells, and casting, the occult world has evolved in diverse forms and their mixing in "chaos magic." Charm Magic The charm spells and similar magic still has a feature by which after the influence, characters know they have been charmed by the caster. I have experienced this effect frequently with the power of suggestion as I go in and out of trance in shifting states of mind However, the concept might be supplemented by cognitive behaviorism and exposure therapy by which people change according to suggestion more permanently. Summoning and Control Summoned devils and demons or creatures under control spells such as Hold Person, Suggestion, or Command operate in several ways. One is more rigid or legalistic, like the djinn who can twist the words of a wish if they feel unfavorable or the low-level monster than obeys mindlessly, repetitively until stopped. Mid-level creatures may follow standing orders. More intelligent beings may understand general principles and work for those that bind them more creatively. This concept might be applied increasing complexity of trance states, hypnotic suggestions, consensual submission, or even levels of esoteric initiations. Disclaimer: in different seasons of life and states of mind my beliefs (logos, ethos, mythos) seem to shift--as though part of me literally thinks magick, gods, or spirits interact with the physical world and part of me thinks "they" are at most influential in mental and social spheres.
I prayed to the Morrigan years ago about my contradictory longings to please my wife and to submit to a domme. I felt the words and sense of promise come to me, "I will make a way for you." I have searched for online dommes that would work with me in reality but at a distance, a liminal mixture of real and fantasy experience that could fully sustain both longings with complete acceptance and grace. I think my dream may be coming true: 1. Online hypnodomme provides real interaction through "likes," replies, direct messages, voice messages, sometimes personalized references in files, and possible live session(s). 2. She accepts real transactions as tithe and tribute as well as real service in promoting her business. 3. She is an actual person in the real world who seems to allow me to dedicate shamelessly to her and experience whatever fantastical belief or "belief" I have in the changing seasons of life and shifting states of mind. 4. She seems to really accept all types of gender and orientation as well as diverse approaches of domme, sub, switch, and a-poly-pan-bi-homo-auto-sexuality. (I must be in there somewhere, surely,a reality evolving from fantasy. She has real experience and education in hypnosis and BDSM. 5. She led me in real 21-day training. 6. She prompted fantasy initiation through altar work and goddess worship. 7. She seems to have endless creativity in creating fantasy in minds, files, and videos 8. She shares her real BDSM fantasy play in scenes, and sessions. (I hope you read this, Goddess Trix, my hypnodomme, as you recently posted a short about striking a difficult balance between exploiting the tropes of hypnotism--as magic or as control--and wanting to dispel them.)
"There is no such thing as magic...There is no other explanation." --The Haydn Dilemma Whit Haydn, one of the great Magic Castle performers and magic theorists posits the false syllogism above as the basis of any good magical effect: the feeling of shock at feeling the impossible. He claims that both sides of the dilemma must be clear to achieve the desired result, that the experience is a trick, an illusion, not real (on the one hand) and that all evidence and logic dictates otherwise. His example is the difference between classic theater and a magic show. We would find it bizarre at the end of A Tale of Two Cities, if the performers tried to prove that the guillotine was real and blade was sharp by chopping a melon first, yet this evidence would be conventional in a magic show. Similarly, in a performance of Peter Pan, we would not be bothered too much if we saw the wires--no ring is passed over the floating characters to prove there are no wires; however, in his flying illusion, David Copperfield has audience members on stage to inspect the glass box and carries one with him in flight as a convincer. This feeling of impossibility is the key to magic, according to Haydn, and I suspect is the basis of other experiences like "kayfabe" in the athletic theater of "pro wrestling" or ghost tours, where the disclaimers are weak or non-existent. Approaches to the cognitive dissonance vary: some American mentalists prefer to present their mind reading acts as supernatural while I'm told that many British performers treat the mentalism as a magic show. Darren Brown opens his Trick of the Mind television show and some live performances saying he uses a mixture of "magic, suggestion, psychology, misdirection, and showmanship." [edit: Perhaps the cultural or personal differences in weak vs. strong disclaimers lies in the celebration of magick/mysticism vs. the debunking of magick/mysticism.] According to Whit Haydn, if either side of the dilemma is too weak, the experience of the impossible is turned into fantasy or theater (without evidence and convincers) or on the other side of the balance turned into the work of a charlatan or "closed eye" spiritualist. Haydn says that both the frame of magic performance (implicit disclaimer) and convincers (implicit evidence) create an elegant synergy. Too much disclaiming inside the experience or too much evidence out in the frame can upset the delicate balance. He promotes use of the false syllogism "it can't be real...it must be real" to create the ideal experience. Three shrines: One in heart, one at office, one at home. Three days to design, one day to build, activate on day of automatic pledge. I. Heart: (on cards for shrine) Meditations, trance, and altar work on the Tower and the Star for sacred love, lust, and magick. 1. "This or something better for the good of all concerned according to my perfect will." 2. Enn chanting and posts in Lilith energy: RENICH VISASA AVAGE LILITH LIRACH with sigils of XButterfly8, spiral, lemniscate, Lilith sigil, and crown above throne = renew inner domain, evolve in cycles forever, in Lilith and her absolute authority within... 3. Icon of Imaginatrix on altar for trances. II Home and III Office: (both have the same components)
1. One multi-faceted crystal at center 2. Two sides--black/red candles and wands on left/right with Tower/Star tarot cards 3. Three stones--labradorite (shapeshifting, Lilith), lapis lazuli (soveignty, flow, Isis), pink quartz (pleasure, Venus) 4. Four elements--fire (candles), water (wine glass), air (incense), earth (plant) 5. Fifth element = crystal at center, silk and real roses, bowl or cauldron, beads, watch or pendulum for hypnosis, cards with enn, spell, and image of Imaginatrix (see heart notes above). "How much does embodied goddess really want me?"
The better question (from a true submissive) would be "How does embodied goddess really want me?", coupled with a willingness to be anything (caveat: anything not destructive to self or others within the risk-aware, consensual limits) pleasing to her with my pleasure entwined with her pleasure with her honor and respect, professionalism and profit in mind, yet knowing to be sustainable, a certain symbiosis (perhaps code switching or transactional analysis) might be involved. So..how much or how does embodied goddess really want me? I trust at least for tithe, tribute, and--it seems--a live session. |
Alan YESpet, puppet, plaything, precious possession Archives
May 2024
Categories |