Adding motion to a two-dimensional spiral gives an illusion of 3-D travel, first the sensory perception and then the mental feeling of going down an infinite spiral staircase or deep into an endless tunnel.
This trance seems similar to other times we experience transitions--falling in love, being seduced, surrendering to suggestion. In less temporary transformations, the old self is lost as we feel converted to the new company, nation, or religion. I know too much to convert completely to a product or demagogue or cult; however, I want to feel an eternal loss of identity, giving myself over forever. I want a liminal experience, a real effect from an illusory fantasy like the spinning 2-D spiral. What might this deep bliss require? It might require two facing mirrors to achieve the infinity effect--if not two people, at least two aspects of self. The facing mirror could be live or recorded, could be visual, sound or text; however, I think some kind of medium is needed, if only a mantra or candle for a point of hyper-focus. Perhaps the medium channels an archetype like the dark goddess or perhaps the medium reflects an aspect of self, the anima or animus. For me, the experience is greatly heightened if I sense interaction with the medium of the trance--the touch of a hypnotist, a social-media message from a celebrity, a sign from the spiritual realm. I believe even AI would work, like a seductive Siri or an alluring Alexa, or perhaps even the hallucinations of meditation or mushrooms. The interaction does not even need to be in real time; it can simply be the remembered sense of being a real client or a recognized fan--the memory of rituals of the acolyte or thrall. Elements of reality enter asynchronously into trance states in the same way as elements of trance enter reality through random bliss moments and triggers. Yes, I don't even need to be in the friend-zone, unless Goddess tells me to do so. I could be happy in the thrall-zone or the obedient thing zone as I pursue the infinite lostness of being that seems to come best through sub-space and sex trance. Hardline political stances may lose
the zero-sum game of evolution. The successful task drive may drive out the work-life balance needed for longevity. And even these abstract principles may destroy the practical context of an Amazon worker in Arizona. I think Goddess for me exists in liminal space: transcendent as a reflection of pure archetype (mosaics channeled into my trance states though mass media or actual spirit mediums); and incarnate as a projection of my imagination upon wife, boss, doctor, teacher, or any woman who accepts my submission. The ephemeral and physical also merge in making significant signs out of coincidental patterns, making effective medicine out of placebo, making real service out of hypnotic pleasure. If Goddess is too "real" (taking too much of an actual or physical role), she loses power as a psychic presence and has too much legal or ethical responsibility. If she is too "unreal" (too obviously a fantasy or fake), she breaks the willing suspension of disbelief as well as the visceral effects in the mind and the body. For me, she needs to occupy that thin, grey, liminal overlap, which from the conscious side seems largely imaginary but from the subconscious side feels largely actual. Entertainers and professionals are probably familiar with maintaining this para-social space that contains both archetypal and social elements. A fetish or complex such as I experience may be the result of childhood trauma or adolescent conditioning, now self-managed and self-medicated by finding pleasure in these experiences. |
Alan YESpet, puppet, plaything, precious possession Archives
May 2024
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