"There is no end point," emanated the sweet words softly from the lips of goddess Trix, emphasizing the eternal spiral that forever expands: "More, deeper, further, better."
The center point within me has become her change, a shifting identity like the river of Heraclitus, like the four seasons through the spiral of centuries. How will I not be lost? How can I keep myself in devotion to her holy love and in submission to her strong control? By always returning to the growing roots of endless creativity, by never straying to long from her sacred space--her soothing voice and her hypnotic eyes--each time sinking ever deeper beneath the waves of the eternal ocean that is her spirit. And every time I emerge, the vibration, sound, and scent of her presence will saturate me more. My core is soft and open at the sound of her voice. My mind is wet and ready for her words.
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With a permanent marker, I draw the eternal lemniscate Upon my wrist and highlight X for Trix, Within the curves of beauty on each side The hidden Y for "Yes"
Arises each cycle and season And sigil later wears away Till all I am is "Yes" for Trix. What a transgressive thrill to imagine she is my messiah, the one who sits on the throne of my heart, in the highest place, in full control. A certain fetish also employs the fantasy of being part of a cult.
In the Bible story, Jesus says, "It is better that I go away. If I go away, I can send the Comforter." The Spirit of Truth could then descend on each follower and guide them into all peace, giving each one strength to obey. In this way, a virtual goddess may be more effective than a physical goddess, transcending space and time. (1) In trance, I feel ASMR tingles, arousal, and focus mixed with peace and relaxation in the moonlit realm. (2) In her manifest presence, I have waking, dreamy peace, walking in her spirit, sometimes feeling a random visitation of bliss, a twilight experience, aroused by a triggering symbol or phrase. (3) At times I have no feelings and must walk in faith, resorting to apologetics and rationalization, relying on pledges or inner vows to keep me going. Doubts can arise, settled by trust or ethos in the sunlit world. |
Alan YESpet, puppet, plaything, precious possession Archives
May 2024
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