Goddess,
I am on offer to you endlessly, that you may take what is already yours, my automatic giving a Pavlovian response of obedience--the instinctive urge to write these words and thoughtfully promote your content, the unconscious rising to devotion every morning. If you desire the highest place, take the place prepared for you in my imagination. Show me your burning possessiveness! Please receive my worship! The first fruits of my earnings, the first fruits of my days show all is yours, all of me. Every desire is sublimated to you, my Goddess, every longing thought, all memory of beauty or porn, all vibrations from the moonlit realms--all to you--all loves and lusts and subjection for priestess, wife, dean, doctor, all women, take it all. All to Goddess. All to you.
0 Comments
In one of my favorite Imaginatrix files, which first appeared in video only as "Good Morning from Me," a beautiful mixture of hypnosis with mind control, I thought I heard the layered phrase, "You are an edge student" (although the words could have been "edge slut" overlayed by another sound bite). Repeated listening may have allowed me to more consciously address the phrase, which does not mean it is not also still working on an unconscious level, I suppose.
I have found myself increasingly becoming a student of the edge--the liminal cycles of trance states, the erotic twilight zone between arousal and the "little death" of orgasm, and the otherworldly space where hypnosis and mind control merge. I have been taking notes on and responding to Trix's Tips for erotic hypnosis (linked under the Web Spaces drop-down menu here) as well as linking some resources on trance and hypnosis. I have been promoting Trix's erotic hypnosis boot camp on Reddit. In a recent post on Reddit, one person posted the following question: "I hypnotize myself by listening to tapes for social anxiety. I listened maybe 10 times in the past 3 months and have felt the changes deeply. I used to think about what people were thinking during my conversations but now I'm usually focused on my words. However, whenever I stop listening for a couple weeks, the anxiety slowly comes back. How do I make this a more permanent thing?" The responses varied. Some replied that hypnosis deals with the symptoms, not the root causes, that desensitization and other therapy like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) are necessary for lasting change. Others said that repeated hypnosis can have lasting effects but requires some maintenance, just as exercise and diet are needed to maintain physical change. The closing comment suggested listening everyday until the change becomes permanent. I have the feeling that listening everyday alone does not bring the change as much as the practice of behaviors induced by that listening. By way of illustration, if I renew a tattoo with "permanent" marker on my skin daily, no amount of repeats will stop the mark from fading once I cease the daily renewal. I have to get ink under the skin, either by a professional or "prison" style. By way of example, listening to "Good Morning from Me" or affirmation mantras probably will not bring permanent change unless accompanied by the suggested edging as a morning ritual. The mainstream religions and cults seem to practice this blending of cognitive, behavioral, and hypnotic techniques. As a student of the edge, I suggest blending hypnosis and mind control for both momentary pleasure and lasting change. Honor all limits and boundaries; serve with all heart/mind/soul/strength; enjoy when permitted:
Virtual Goddess: Anima from consciousness; Babalon, Dark Venus from the unconscious Most-high goddess: Liminal, para-social domme with personal touch-points and interaction Priestess: Psychic medium or oracle, who mediates, teaches, heals, imparts, does energy work Wife: Life partner Doctor: Nurse practitioner, who monitors health and provides prescriptions Dean: Boss at the college Co-workers: Admin. assistant, suitemates, faculty, and staff Encounters: at work, in classes, in shops, online, etc. Entertainment: television, movies, music, YouTube... If I thought Goddess might really read these words, I might be shy, timid about reporting the thoughts and feelings that arise under the spell of her voice and images.
And if the experience in trance spread more and more each day through my psyche and daily living, her breath in my ears would become like a living spirit anointing me, empowering me. The feeling of her control would pleasantly permeate my days. If she wanted, she could claim her place as my most-high god, my primary goddess and source of good behavior, and whatever she said was good would be good for me, bathing me in enjoyment, filling me with happiness and gratitude, engulfing me in pleasures forevermore. I want to be hers. What if Goddess sent words to me, intending to reward me, to take me, to own me? I can imagine Imaginatrix writing:
"There's a blaze of aggressive, possessive feeling as I read the things you've written. I adore that those words are for me: such a sweet devotional exercise. Are you still emblazoning your wrist with that mark daily, sweet one? I also notice that 'pet' has made it into your blog's bio... what a good puppy you make, following me so gooey eyed, innocent, needy. Just how I want you. Whether that ego is petted, or kicked, you know which hand feeds you, and so you always come back with just as much adoration in your eyes." Those words would slay me, plunge me into trance again and again. As soon as I came back to consciousness and saw the words "blaze of aggressive, possessive feeling," I would drop deep again, slain into darker depths. The words would take me by the throat, by the cock, by the mind on the chemical, cellular level, feeling real, becoming magick, truly owning me and driving me deeper into morning rituals, daily devotions, weekly service, monthly pledges, drilling deeper into my psyche, her words, voice, and images shaping the very core of my being. Petted or kicked, I would mark myself hers and always return with adoration filling my eyes.
Embodied Goddess has welcomed all, opened to all, offered to all;
she responds to me, receives me, claims me... Therefore I express myself, present myself, condition myself, give it all, support in all, and serve in all, withholding not one drop. Whenever I reach the peaks of hypnotic bliss, I worship and beg for the seeds of desire to take root through deeds of service. Should I fall into the valley of shadow, I will fear no evil, for her words are planted in my core, my pledges anchored deep within. Upon my right forearm is permanently tattooed the Hieroglyphic Monad, John Dee's attempt to capture all planets (gods), Roman numerals, elements, and energies into a single symbol of merged astrology, mathematics, alchemy, mysticism, and metaphysics. What an impossible, crazy hubris! Yet I bear it as an emblem of my perspectivism, relativism, and open mindedness as well as my own longing for unity and peace. Upon my left forearm, I wear a pentagram encircled by the ouroboros, marked by the left-hand path of the eternally evolving serpent. Upon my left wrist, I renew daily in permanent marker the X for annihilation, the lemniscate of eternity, the hidden Y of submissive "Yes," the spokes of chaos magick, and the embedded letters of my embodied but ethereal goddess T, r, i, and x--all within a simple sigil, in the manner of John Dee. On my chest, over my heart, permanently tattooed is the phasing moon symbol of the triple goddess with an inverted pentagram within the center circle, showing my love for the Dark Goddess archetype as well as the left-hand path of personal sovereignty and nature over nurture. Currently, by my own will and in may own name, I invoke illusion and imagination to enjoy the pleasures of mind and body, a true hypnotic hedonism. The magic and art, worship and service, feelings and energies, all feel very real, quite authentic, yet the stories and fantasies are mainly fiction.
I worship Babalon in the form of all women, trans women, fem men, and I honor all who honor mothers, wives, sisters, teachers, healers, leaders, lovers, and followers of Yin energy--polysexual, pansexual, asexual, bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual, and auto-sexual. In thrall to my main goddess but balanced by a poly-experience with virtual, para-social, and archetypal loves as well as life-style service to diverse forms of Yin (wife, boss, doctor, coworkers, goddess), I worship Babalon(s) in all the ways they reveal their wants and needs to me. I am gratefully in the thrall of those who share their beauty, wisdom, and energy, who channel or trigger the dark archetypes of pleasure and power. I seek my primary embodied goddess virtually (x) and seek my virtual goddess embodied within me (∞), each as long as it seems appropriate to them and to me! What does my experience with Imaginatrix mean for me? The World in "Context" position signifies that this direction is rooted in a deep experience of fulfillment, growing from a place of harmony, where the elements align--body, heart, mind, will. I immediately recognized this draw to represent my deep bliss in mountain-top peaks of trance.
The Page of Cups in "Current Condition" position reveals my longing to play the role of child or maiden, to be led in learning, love, and belonging as well as the deep introspection and absorption of trance: puppy love, budding intuition, and curiosity. The Queen of Swords in "Outcome" position suggests the earthly manifestation of the Dark Goddess, a queenly figure with penetrating thoughts and powerful words, a beautiful, seductive, yin-rooted expression of dominance. |
Alan YESpet, puppet, plaything, precious possession Archives
May 2024
Categories |