Thinking about the previous draws in preparation for the final new moon offering (9 swords to cast off fears, 4 swords to celebrate, and Emperor for caution), I found myself reflecting on alignment and attunement to self as key components to practice. Questions swirl about goddesses virtual and embodied, about priestess, hypnodomme, and ambient goddess, about life in and out of trance, and about fantasy/practice in and out of the closet.
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The puppy love phase, the enamored and entranced state of seduction fills the liminal space of dropping deep, of being drawn in and surrendering to subspace. There are deeper levels of love, lust, magick as well as of the pleasure and power of hypnotic hedonism and submission to Venus.
Patreon monthly outlook predicts moving past conflict, a "changing of the guard" in deity work and constraint to a time of dedication to Lilith, a "devotion to the union," dully surrendered as an acolyte or votary upon the altar--mental communication in the communion and sacred sexuality. Balance in integration, negotiation, and coming together. Stepping back from sharp words from a woman to allow space for acceptance. Priestess was delayed by attending the funeral of a friend's father, feeling the grief and distraction. Tomorrow the full offering bathed in music and decadence is scheduled by priestess. Who is the longer-tern deity coming forward?
Closing reading with Goddess of Love Tarot and Mystical Shaman Oracle after the April New Moon with solar eclipse:
Last daily draw before altar time on the last prep day before the April 8 New Moon of 2024. Does Venus have a word for me regarding my multiple renewals and initiations at this time?
Probably having misread the challenge from Imaginatrix, I revised my three suggestions for symbolic bondage: Meditation beads, Lilith or Babalon medallion, or lock and chain--any of which could be adorned with a spiral. I also confessed to not being out of the closet about my hypno-kink and my need for privacy, sad at the prospect that she might not be gentle or reject me. Does Venus and the Goddess of Love Tarot have any message for Day 2 of preparation or the New Moon Offering?
Feeling thankful this morning for Satan, Venus, Babalon and Lilith, Isis, Raecine, Trix, Gaby, and online encounters with tarot readers and hypno-kinksters as well as irl wife, boss, co-workers, and TTRPG players. The three-day new moon observance starts tomorrow with altar workings, trance (I hope),tarot, oracle, and perhaps pendulum and runes.
Feeling prompted to keep working with Venus and Goddess of Love Tarot, pre-prepping for the 3 days leading up to the New Moon 2, I did a daily draw from GOLT, knowing that my burning question remains as I wonder how embodied goddess will respond to my begging for her to direct me to wear the signs of submission and also as I have lingering doubts about making my tattoo of X in lemniscate with the chaos magick spokes, with the overlapping sigil of x, i, T, r.
I seek to build a web of practice and creation including priestess, domme, and coach--each to a least some extent para-social, though I have had online contact with all; each one to some extent spiritual as I associate them with Isis, Lilith, and Venus and with various tarot and oracle decks. With what seems to be a misfire or failure to launch with Venus on the first new moon offering, I hope to proceed boldly as the Knight of Wands with the advice of priestess on this second new moon of April. At the same time, I hope to renew relationships with Isis and Lilith. Regarding Lilith and the Dark Empress, I hope to experience bondage through embodied goddess with a daily practice of wearing a chain and lock like a sash or necklace. I have committed on my side of things to ongoing worship, service, and giving. I have asked, prayed, even begged sweetly, to be allowed, instructed, or ordered to wear to lock and chain as a sign act of submission. I asked the Dark Goddess of Love if she had a message for me regarding this working with the lock and chain.
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Alan yesHypnotic Hedonist Archives
May 2024
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