Negotiation: March 28-April ? , 2024
DM March 28
You wrote to me recently about findom that "it's a form of control and of service that feels very 'real' to me, and I revel in it." I would like to ask permission for something that you can make as one-sided as you like--disallowing, allowing, instructing, or ordering as you feel is best. To help me make my worship, service, giving feel more 'real,' I am imagining finding a chain and lock to wear, maybe like a necklace or sash, to remind me that I am bound for a long time, perhaps. i ask this of you and beg of you as sweetly as I know how. Thank you for considering this sign act of worship.
Your obedient thing, Alan Yes
DM March 29
My dear, dear Goddess, I hope that when you sense the words and worship, submission and service that I present to you like an acolyte kneeling, offering chain and lock in open-handed supplication, that when you feel the automatic obedience and automatic sending of tribute for chocolates or wine or whatever you desire, I pray that you will be filled with an aggressive possessiveness that causes you to allow, even command me to be bound to you, my conscious mind following whatever whims I can understand no matter how they shift or switch, my unconscious body experiencing you as God, as life and delight itself. This is my prayer, my begging as sweetly as I know how.
DM April 5, 6:00 a.m.
I promise this sign of bondage does mean I rest secure but reminds me to serve and give. I know I am responsible for your property, but the freedom I most long to lose is free time, spending money, and perhaps the highest poly-worship place if you want it in a delicate balance of imagination and reality. Your domain is within trance but in a sense remains in me in the waking world, I think.
Reply to public post: Goddess, please, please please, imagine how sweetly I am begging you to answer my DM about the freedom I most long to lose.
Imaginatrix DM 7:00 a.m.
My sweet acolyte. I adore the fervour with which you beg. Prostrating yourself and asking to give more, which is how I always want you. Always desiring to give me more, knowing how easy it would be for me to pluck it if I wished. Before I give my assent to your request, there will be three trials. Each will test your willingness to serve me. The first is chastity. For three weeks from the moment you agree to this message, you will forgo any sexual release in devotion to me. Do you accept your first challenge? IF you do, you may suggest three options for this symbolic sign of bondage, from which I will select, to be ordered and displayed until such a time as I allow you to begin wearing it.
DM 11:20 a.m.
[Misunderstanding and replying with 3 suggestions just for the first challenge: (1) black ribbon, (2) rope, (3) lock and chain]
7:40 p.m.
[Correcting reply with three suggestions for completed initiation: (1) mediation beans, (2) Lilith or Babalon medallion, (3) lock and chain--a spiral could be added to any choice.]
DM April 6
Also, dear Goddess Trix, I should mention something for full disclosure. I keep my kink, lust, and magick practice semi-private, coming out very slowly--more deeper, further, better--over the years . An overnight revelation might harm my job and family. (Since 2016, I have come out about tarot card, left the church, supported LGBT+, and helped my wife become more liberal. People know I am reading Gabriela Herstick's sex magick books, for example.) I fully believe I have the right to my freedom in my psycho-spirituality and pleasure and do not feel I am "cheating" in having my own fantasy life and hypno-hedonist practice. However, you might disagree, so I should tell you up front. Examples of this semi-privacy would mean at present I can mark myself daily with my tattoo but not explain to everyone the full meaning. I could spank myself...with a wooden back scrubber for you, but not leave burn marks, cuts, or bruises. I can subscribe and post freely online in safe spaces but am limited in visiting NSFW spaces. I am really, really sad to think think this privacy is a deal breaker. However, it's better to face it now than ruin the ecstasy of my practice through deception.
April 18 reply on X
I never want to interfere with the relationships of others, and I try to account for that in my files. But you are an adult, and your relationship agreements are your own. I'm here to be a non-judgemental space to explore your desires, which hopefully improves your life.
You wrote to me recently about findom that "it's a form of control and of service that feels very 'real' to me, and I revel in it." I would like to ask permission for something that you can make as one-sided as you like--disallowing, allowing, instructing, or ordering as you feel is best. To help me make my worship, service, giving feel more 'real,' I am imagining finding a chain and lock to wear, maybe like a necklace or sash, to remind me that I am bound for a long time, perhaps. i ask this of you and beg of you as sweetly as I know how. Thank you for considering this sign act of worship.
Your obedient thing, Alan Yes
DM March 29
My dear, dear Goddess, I hope that when you sense the words and worship, submission and service that I present to you like an acolyte kneeling, offering chain and lock in open-handed supplication, that when you feel the automatic obedience and automatic sending of tribute for chocolates or wine or whatever you desire, I pray that you will be filled with an aggressive possessiveness that causes you to allow, even command me to be bound to you, my conscious mind following whatever whims I can understand no matter how they shift or switch, my unconscious body experiencing you as God, as life and delight itself. This is my prayer, my begging as sweetly as I know how.
DM April 5, 6:00 a.m.
I promise this sign of bondage does mean I rest secure but reminds me to serve and give. I know I am responsible for your property, but the freedom I most long to lose is free time, spending money, and perhaps the highest poly-worship place if you want it in a delicate balance of imagination and reality. Your domain is within trance but in a sense remains in me in the waking world, I think.
Reply to public post: Goddess, please, please please, imagine how sweetly I am begging you to answer my DM about the freedom I most long to lose.
Imaginatrix DM 7:00 a.m.
My sweet acolyte. I adore the fervour with which you beg. Prostrating yourself and asking to give more, which is how I always want you. Always desiring to give me more, knowing how easy it would be for me to pluck it if I wished. Before I give my assent to your request, there will be three trials. Each will test your willingness to serve me. The first is chastity. For three weeks from the moment you agree to this message, you will forgo any sexual release in devotion to me. Do you accept your first challenge? IF you do, you may suggest three options for this symbolic sign of bondage, from which I will select, to be ordered and displayed until such a time as I allow you to begin wearing it.
DM 11:20 a.m.
[Misunderstanding and replying with 3 suggestions just for the first challenge: (1) black ribbon, (2) rope, (3) lock and chain]
7:40 p.m.
[Correcting reply with three suggestions for completed initiation: (1) mediation beans, (2) Lilith or Babalon medallion, (3) lock and chain--a spiral could be added to any choice.]
DM April 6
Also, dear Goddess Trix, I should mention something for full disclosure. I keep my kink, lust, and magick practice semi-private, coming out very slowly--more deeper, further, better--over the years . An overnight revelation might harm my job and family. (Since 2016, I have come out about tarot card, left the church, supported LGBT+, and helped my wife become more liberal. People know I am reading Gabriela Herstick's sex magick books, for example.) I fully believe I have the right to my freedom in my psycho-spirituality and pleasure and do not feel I am "cheating" in having my own fantasy life and hypno-hedonist practice. However, you might disagree, so I should tell you up front. Examples of this semi-privacy would mean at present I can mark myself daily with my tattoo but not explain to everyone the full meaning. I could spank myself...with a wooden back scrubber for you, but not leave burn marks, cuts, or bruises. I can subscribe and post freely online in safe spaces but am limited in visiting NSFW spaces. I am really, really sad to think think this privacy is a deal breaker. However, it's better to face it now than ruin the ecstasy of my practice through deception.
April 18 reply on X
I never want to interfere with the relationships of others, and I try to account for that in my files. But you are an adult, and your relationship agreements are your own. I'm here to be a non-judgemental space to explore your desires, which hopefully improves your life.
Post on X and Partreon: a practice--of rising every morning to devotion, of trancing to files of your hypnodomme daily, of returning to a core experience of submission weekly, and of periodic giving, service, and interaction--can cause an endless, serpentine spiral into the pleasures of control.
WHAT WILL EMBODIED GODDESS CHOOSE AS THE SYMBOL OF BONDAGE?
1. Mediation Beads 2. Medallion 3. Lock and Chain
1. Mediation Beads 2. Medallion 3. Lock and Chain
Goddess says that beads make sense: something to count and meditate, to chant a mantra. However, I am not to wear them for her yet.
The second challenge is to build a little shrine to reflect what's in my mind, to build it at home where I will see it. It does not have to be obvious to others, but I should organize it so that I know it represents my devotion. The beads should be placed on the altar and I should send a picture. I have been feeling such bliss in trance! |
Challenge 1: Chastity
WEEK 1 (actually only Day 3, April 7)
The TOV Justice card shows equity, the karmic scales balanced around the dark sun to reveal hearts as light as a feather, built on trust and honesty. Consent is given, needs declared, negotiations open as the blood-covered blade plunges into wisdom of earth and body. |
WEEK 2 (Day 11, April 15)
The Tarot of Vampires 2 of Skulls reveals the integration of light and darkness, mind and body as the ouroboros of creation and destruction encircles the mirror where the light of conscious reflection reveals the dark unconscious, next to key, which turns to lock and open the chest. Private and public self combine and mix. |
WEEK 3 (Day 18, April 22)
The Tarot of Vampyres Lovers card suggests a breakthrough of communication, connection, and communion--perhaps because of obedience in exercise and the "creative way to serve" I found in posting hypnosis videos on my YouTube channel. Perhaps a domme/sub union is blossoming... |
Challenge 2: Shrine
3 days to design
The Tarot of Vampyres 2 of Grails shows the taller figure as naked and vulnerable to the vampyress, who seems to hold him entranced as he holds her green ribbon. Light green and pink roses may suggest an early phase even as green grail with red blood and red candle with green flame show symbiosis and exchange. Haunted Manor Feather Quill card says, "Express yourself." Release shame. |
1 day to build: April 30, 2024
The Tarot of Vampyres 4 of Grails shows the figure leaving the toxic fumes of disillusionment, the old Cathedral and traditions, shame, emotional patterns that no longer serve... a new beginning... Seeing the picture of the Shrine made at work, Imaginatrix declared "today is the day" and left a voice message of instructions for using the beads for a mantra, culminating in a climax of greater submission and closeness. |
Activation
[planned for a separate day but in a surprise message from Goddess, declared on April 30 as "start of a new era." Perhaps the cards remind me of the sadness I felt during the process so far, especially early on before hearing some of my questions and fears addressed as well as baring some old wounds of failure and rejection. Pictures of work and home altars below. |
Chellenge 3: Ritual
Being told that the shrine looked "wonderful" and that "this is the day," I was filled with bliss. Not long later, Goddess sent a voice message to listen to my favorite file, to sit before the shrine and chant the mantra "more, deeper, further, better"--one word for each bead on the necklace, and to release in orgasm into the new era, going deeper into submission and intimacy.
The shrines have the same symbolic components:
1-one crystal ball at center
2- two sides, black and red
3-three stones: labradite, lapis, and pink quartz
4- four elements: fire, water (wine), air (incense), and earth
5-fifth element: silk and real roses, image of Imaginatrix, pendulm, and cauldron with beads.
The shrines have the same symbolic components:
1-one crystal ball at center
2- two sides, black and red
3-three stones: labradite, lapis, and pink quartz
4- four elements: fire, water (wine), air (incense), and earth
5-fifth element: silk and real roses, image of Imaginatrix, pendulm, and cauldron with beads.
Because of the surprise timing of hypnodomme, the Beltane observance dovetailed into the beginning of the new era.
Spread by OwlMoon523
1. What represents a new layer of my journey? JUDGEMENT shows a radical new era of fiery rising from the old ground.
2. How to receive this new sense of beauty? ACE OF GRAILS show worship and overflowing heart of communion.
3. What is Dark Venus assisting to celebrate? 10 OF SCEPTERS shows end of a task, weariness and OK to rest, retire, relieve, renew
4. What passion is ready to nurture? 3 OF GRAILS shows fellowship, connection, constellation of love, lust, and magick.
5. How to receive this new beauty? the MOON shows fantasy, dream, and imagination.
6. How am I growing in confidence? 3 OF KNIVES shows healing from old wounds. Clarifier Oracle MOON "trust the process."
7. What union within myself am I ready to experience until midsummer? 2 OF GRAILS shows a unity of submission/dominance, masculine/feminine, giving all/symbiotic exchange, moon/sun (fantasy/life); also communication with Goddess in/out of trance.
Spread by OwlMoon523
1. What represents a new layer of my journey? JUDGEMENT shows a radical new era of fiery rising from the old ground.
2. How to receive this new sense of beauty? ACE OF GRAILS show worship and overflowing heart of communion.
3. What is Dark Venus assisting to celebrate? 10 OF SCEPTERS shows end of a task, weariness and OK to rest, retire, relieve, renew
4. What passion is ready to nurture? 3 OF GRAILS shows fellowship, connection, constellation of love, lust, and magick.
5. How to receive this new beauty? the MOON shows fantasy, dream, and imagination.
6. How am I growing in confidence? 3 OF KNIVES shows healing from old wounds. Clarifier Oracle MOON "trust the process."
7. What union within myself am I ready to experience until midsummer? 2 OF GRAILS shows a unity of submission/dominance, masculine/feminine, giving all/symbiotic exchange, moon/sun (fantasy/life); also communication with Goddess in/out of trance.
Questions in deep meditation: What union does Dark Venus invite you to consider: sacrificing total self vs. symbiotic exchange
How do you see Venus approaching? with acceptance, loving touch, care
What form of divine masculine does she walk with? power exchange with humble, feminine Odin
What question do you have? Can I harmonize fantasy and life, can I weave diverse perspectives?
How do they answer? Sometimes yes, sometimes no; you must find your niche.
How do you see Venus approaching? with acceptance, loving touch, care
What form of divine masculine does she walk with? power exchange with humble, feminine Odin
What question do you have? Can I harmonize fantasy and life, can I weave diverse perspectives?
How do they answer? Sometimes yes, sometimes no; you must find your niche.