In one sense, this is the blog update to end all updates; in another sense it is like the Fool card in tarot and the one that spawns an endless spiral. Here I add a concept from the Left-Hand Path, the idea that the ultimate good involves all individuals seeking an ever-higher, godlike evolution: "Becoming" or in some camps "Xeper," which I take to be a divine manifestation of Self. If I claim to be an "all-inclusive mystic," I must admit these thinkers and groups also have a piece of the puzzle--some tending to be atheist, some agnostic, some deist, and maybe a few theist.
This post comes at somewhat of a milestone for me at the Harvest Moon of 2020. Seeking direction at a self-declared crossroads, doing workings of magick in tandem with a long distance friend, a self-declared "chaos magician," I had a powerful mystical experience followed by an intense outward expression. The mystical experience included a downpour of love, acceptance, and bliss that seemed to include traditional feelings of worship but also friendship, an almost romantic love, and self-sovereignty. The was almost an ego transcendence; however, it was accompanied by quite earthy soulishness and bodily ecstasy. It may take some days to center and ground this experience in sunlit relationship and moonlit altar work. The next day precipitated a milestone, probably many years in the making. When I told my wife that I probably would not be attending any more in-person church meetings (not wanting a hypocritical association), she said she did not want to explain my reasons to others. She understands much of my new thinking, but did not want the burden--and probably dramatic stress--of bringing the news. So I sent an email to the pastor explaining my unwillingness to support conservative politics and religion, especially practices of exclusion. He requested a meeting later in the week, in which I was able to articulate my ideas calmly. Although the pastor revealed some liberal sentiment and even requested a copy of the book When Christians Get It Wrong, the real significance of the meeting was the formal declaration, the line in the sand, so to speak, on my part. So along with my recent tattoos of pentagram, ouroboros, and hieroglyphic monad; along with my pagan altars, meditation beads, and tarot cards; along with my online postings and bumper stickers, I have officially taken steps away from the crossroads at this Harvest Moon of 2020--almost certainly to other crossroads on a path of Becoming.
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Alan>Performing magician, >English teacher, Archives
March 2021
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